As we sort through all the details of my parents’ estate, I’m very pleased and fortunate that my siblings are all easy going and deferential. There are no fights over things. Who gets what, how we handle this or that — it’s all been quite easy because none of want to argue over things.
I’ve often wondered recently why we’re that way. The answer is (as always) some combination of nature and nurture, but it gets me thinking.
Imagine two cultures with different approaches to being deferential or assertive. Imagine them however you like — men vs. women, Yale vs. Harvard, lawyers vs. businessmen, Englishmen vs. Germans, people who play sports vs. people who don’t …. It doesn’t matter. Whatever stew of nature and nurture created this, people in one group are generally more assertive than people in the other group.
In a very short time, the more assertive culture would probably come to dominate certain aspects of society. They might be disproportionately represented in management, or small business ownership, or net worth. They might also have higher blood pressure and a shorter life expectancy.
Is that a problem to be solved?
I say that any attempt to solve such a “problem” would cause more harm than good. The cure would be worse than the disease.
I think that there is middle ground: Be deferential, but don’t let the assertive people push you around.
QUOTE: I say that any attempt to solve such a “problem” would cause more harm than good. The cure would be worse than the disease.
Curious…on what basis do you arrive at this conclusion?
Depends on how deep you go. If you’re going to take Robin’s suggestion and just give people decent advice, fine. But if you’re going to create reporting requirements, have investigations, start meddling with people’s conduct (so you can test theories), etc. …. That’s just a mess.
Given this, would adding cameras, requirements for parental accountability, curriculum consents, investigations of misconduct and the like (solution) in public schools (the problem) create a worse outcome? Is this one of those situations where parents should be deferential to school authority?
I don’t see how these cases are similar at all. And parents should not be deferential to “school authority.” The schools have authority over the children, not over the parents.
I agree that parents shouldn’t deferential to school authority. Yet, the question is, if parents demand to have cameras, curriculum consents, misconduct investigations and the like…would it cause more harm than good. Given your previous statement, it seemed that such solutions might be worse than the problem.
That said, my view is that you’d have to assess the situation, based on the context. In some cases it might be appropriate to push back with solutions, in other cases it would be better to not act.