“Being vulnerable” is not a virtue

I’m sick of the emasculating BS I keep hearing in this dysfunctional hellhole we live in. E.g., that “being vulnerable” is some sort of virtue. E.g., “I’m being vulnerable. You must pay attention and give me kudos and hugs and likes.”

Sorry.

That would be like saying “retreating is a virtue.” Or “quitting is a virtue.” Or “asking for help” is a virtue.

No. None of those things are virtues.

They’re the right decision in particular cases, but they are not “virtues.”

A virtue is something that displays moral excellence. Retreating, being vulnerable, quitting, or asking for help may be tactically wise, or appropriate in some cases. But you can’t fit it into a statement like this.

“He’s _____. We should respect that.”

E.g.,

  • He’s retreating. We should respect that.
  • He’s being vulnerable. We should respect that.
  • He’s asking for help. We should respect that.

No. No. No. We could just as well say …

  • “He’s retreating, let’s destroy the coward.”
  • “He’s being vulnerable. What a pussy.”
  • “He’s asking for help. He should figure it out on this own.”

I understand that people are reacting against the (allegedly dominant) macho man stereotype, and are trying to reinforce that men can cry, be vulnerable, etc. Okay. Fine.

That doesn’t mean we applaud every time a man cries. Sometimes he needs to grow a pair.