Today I saw a statistic that 40 percent of teens who “come out” (as LGBT+&SGF or whatever) are thrown out of their homes. I doubt that number (97.3% of internet statistics are lies), but I’m sure some percentage of kids are kicked out when they “come out.”
What are we to make of the phenomenon? Should a kid ever get thrown out of his house? And in what situations?
I recently heard an interview with Dennis Prager in which he criticized the notion of “unconditional love.” He says a lot of Christian callers to his radio show promote the idea, but he maintains it’s not biblical and makes no sense.
Hmm. Here’s how I would evaluate the question.
First, we have to make a distinction between (1) unconditional love in the sense that you always want the best for someone, and (2) having no conditions on a relationship — like remaining under Dad’s roof no matter what you do. That is clearly stupid. There has to be a point at which even a beloved son is kicked out.
Second, we have to make a distinction between chosen and unchosen behaviors. For example, if we assume (as seems to be the case) that homosexuality is not a choice, there’s a big difference between kicking a kid out because he’s gay and kicking him out because he keeps bringing his boyfriends home.
It seems some people believe that accepting homosexuality requires accepting anything that homosexuals do, which is ridiculous. Accepting heterosexuality does not mean that you allow your daughter to bring all her boyfriends home.
Third, we have pretty much lost the idea that a family is allowed to have standards. There seems to be an assumption that parents are to love their children unconditionally, by which people mean that they have to put up with just about whatever they do — short of repeatedly trying to burn the house down, or something like that.
Parents can have standards, and they can say “if you want to live under my roof, you’ll do _____.”
Within limits, of course. And there’s the rub. How far do the limits go? What can parents insist on?
The point of the statistic was to make us feel bad for these poor, homeless kids, as if they are victims of an intolerant society.
I’m sure some are and some aren’t.
Perhaps some were kicked out simply for being gay, while others were kicked out for outrageous behavior.
QUOTE: First, we have to make a distinction between (1) unconditional love in the sense that you always want the best for someone, and (2) having no conditions on a relationship.
I think that’s the crux of the issue…people misunderstand the definition of unconditional love. I’d agree that an appropriate understanding is #1 not #2.
QUOTE: Parents can have standards, and they can say “if you want to live under my roof, you’ll do _____.”
AGREED! I believe the lack of having such standards has contributed to some troublesome cultural issues we now contend with.
QUOTE: Within limits, of course. And there’s the rub. How far do the limits go? What can parents insist on?
I don’t think there’s a definitive, one-size-fits-all answer to this question. Yet, some overarching principles that might apply:respectful, lawful, cooperative, honest, etc.
QUOTE: The point of the statistic was to make us feel bad for these poor, homeless kids, as if they are victims of an intolerant society..
It’s important we understand this because if this is true, it has a very different implication than if it were the result of the kids not submitting to an appropriate standard. So, it may be worthwhile putting some effort into getting an accurate answer.
QUOTE: I doubt that number (97.3% of internet statistics are lies)…
How you verify that figure? If it by the internet, how do you know it’s accurate?