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Nip it in the bud, men

by Greg Krehbiel on 27 April 2017

I’ve noticed a pattern with older couples. The women increasingly infantilize their husbands — assuming they can’t make basic life decisions, minding their every move, questioning everything they do. Sometimes it degenerates into outright insults.

It’s not universal (what is?) but I’ve seen it so often I believe it’s some kind of natural progression. Men put up with it, so women get bolder and bolder in their slights and insults.

Men: don’t tolerate this. Listen to Sheriff John Brown and kill it before it grows. As soon as you see this tendency in your wife, put your foot down. Firmly.

All of us who still have brains can see that our culture is anti-male. When a commercial requires a doofus, it’s the man. Men in the popular culture are portrayed as idiots. Generally speaking, they are assumed to be crude, stupid and violent, with little or no self control.

Yesterday on a Southwest flight, the guy who made the announcements said “if you’re sitting next to a child, or someone who acts like a child — maybe a husband ….”

Nobody would dare to say “maybe a wife.” He’d lose his job before the sun went down. It would be a social media catastrophe because women don’t stand for that sort of thing.

Why do men stand for it? I can think of lots of reasons, including the fact that men have a sense of humor, but … we shouldn’t put up with this. It’s damaging the culture. It’s become socially acceptable to criticize men, and that’s not a good thing.

I can’t change the culture, but I can clean up my little corner of it.

Make it quite clear to your wife that this kind of stuff is not acceptable at all and you won’t stand for it. Not even a little. Not even once.

(Fortunately, my wife understands this, so it’s not a problem for me.)

2017-04-27  »  Greg Krehbiel

Talkback x 5

  1. LY
    27 April 2017 @ 9:24 am

    Practical course of action: vigilantly defend your wife against all flippancy or indiscretion from your children, male children especially, and keep strict custody of your tongue, especially in front of your children—male children especially—when speaking to or about your wife in public.

    Never, under any circumstances, say to her anything that would have offended you in the mouth of another when you were courting her. This will give you the boldness to claim the respect you’re calling for. It will be obvious that justice is good for everybody.

  2. Greg Krehbiel Greg Krehbiel
    27 April 2017 @ 10:00 am

    Yes, men should treat their wives with respect and require it of their children as well.

  3. Yon
    27 April 2017 @ 12:32 pm

    “Never, under any circumstances, say to her anything that would have offended you in the mouth of another when you were courting her.”

    Does it matter that this varies based on one’s tendency to feel offended?

    -Y

  4. William
    27 April 2017 @ 1:05 pm

    QUOTE: I’ve noticed a pattern with older couples. The women increasingly infantilize their husbands — assuming they can’t make basic life decisions, minding their every move, questioning everything they do. Sometimes it degenerates into outright insults

    I think you make a good point. I’ve noticed this dynamic with younger couples too. I was speaking with a friend after church recently and complimented him on his tie. He said he couldn’t take credit for it because his wife picks out his clothes for him. I’ve even heard women kid publicly about how badly their husbands would dress if it wasn’t for them. I’m not sure they would find it funny if the roles were reversed and a man said to a group publicly…”do you believe it, she couldn’t even add a quart of oil to the car”. That said, it amuses me that some adult men cannot or “will not” dress themselves. I wonder what they would do if they didn’t have a women in their lives? 😉

    I’ve heard many men speak about how they acquiesce to their wives on a number of things…driving, car selection, entertainment, “if” and where they can go with friends, etc. It’s as if they are children and can’t think for themselves. I have great respect for my wife’s opinion and will often solicit it. Yet, I’m perfectly able to make independent decisions and don’t need “mothering”. Actually, I find it to be quite annoying. But, it almost seems instinctual within some women. More amusing is that women like to do this until their direction turns out badly. Then, they don’t take responsibility for it and chide the man for not taking the lead or for not following his own thoughts. I learned my lesson years ago. I was driving in an unfamiliar city, trying to find a location and was running late. My wife became an unsolicited “co-pilot”. At one point she said…”turn here”. So, I did…thinking she knew something I didn’t. Yet, it turned out to be the wrong direction and got us even more off course. When I pointed this out to her, she said…”you were driving, you shouldn’t have listened to me”. To that I replied, “so glad to hear you say that because from now on, I won’t”. Believe me, I’ve kept my promise. 😉

    Overall, I agree, it’s best to nip it in the bud early (or as a friend says…nick it in the butt). 😉 There’s no harm in women providing input. Yet, when it gets to the point where it’s emasculating, it’s problematic. If it’s not addressed sooner, it surely will be a regret later.

  5. Greg Krehbiel Greg Krehbiel
    27 April 2017 @ 1:19 pm

    > I’m perfectly able to make independent decisions and don’t need “mothering”.

    That’s it precisely.