by Crowhill on 13 June 2006
Yes, I’m tired of this topic too, but this post over on the theology board (linking to Get to Church, You Animals, linking to Where did all the men go (again), practically invites silly, extravagant, or otherwise tongue-in-cheek suggestions for getting men back to church. And so, somewhere between half-seriously and seriously, my list.
- Convince all the women in church not to date a guy who hasn’t been faithfully attending church for at least one year.
- Give out tokens after confession (color-coded for the quarter of the year) and require them to be presented before receiving the Eucharist. No token for the current or last quarter, no Eucharist.
- If you want more altar boys, disallow altar girls.
- Have at least one mass every Sunday with no singing.
- Have a homily at least twice a year on this passage — “And if they have any questions, let them ask their own husbands at home.”
- Preach on the reality of Hell, the necessity of evangelism, and the moral requirements of the church.
- Have missionaries (real missionaries who are in serious danger of martyrdom) as guest speakers a few times a year.
- Serve beer and pretzels (instead of coffee and donuts) after mass.
-- 2006-06-13 » Crowhill