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File: Fatherhood

2004-08-18 :: Greg Krehbiel // Fatherhood
Men make lousy mothers

I’ve been thinking about a series of articles reflecting on fatherhood in our sex-saturated, post-feminist, sex-role-confused time. I think the confusion is best expressed by the title of this post. Just as the public schools seem to want all schoolchildren to be good little girls, so the culture seems to want all parents to be […]

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2004-08-19 :: Greg Krehbiel // Fatherhood
The wife as the weaker vessel

Cultural pressure can be a good thing. It’s what keeps us from farting in public. But while our culture continues to exert appropriate pressure in some areas, it has, for the last few decades, been training men to be embarrassed about fatherhood. Little by little it’s been singling out the masculine, fatherly aspects of parenting […]

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2004-08-20 :: Greg Krehbiel // Fatherhood
Justice v. Fairness

Kids often moan, “that’s not fair,” to which the typical dad might reply, “life’s not fair. Get over it.” While we should strive to be both just and fair, there are times when the two seem to conflict. Or at least what sounds like fairness can confict with justice. For example, “fairness” can mean giving […]

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2004-08-21 :: Greg Krehbiel // Fatherhood
Discerning, but not judgmental

An important lesson a child needs to learn — especially before the teen years — is how to be discerning without being judgmental. By “discerning” I mean that a child needs to be able to size up other people to decide if they’re “the right sort” — the kind they should hang with or make […]

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2004-08-23 :: Greg Krehbiel // Fatherhood
The right expert

One of the amazing things about parenting is that while the human race has been raising children for umpteen thousands of years, we still don’t know how to do it. There’s no standard operational procedure. There’s no user’s manual. In every generation, green young adults go into it fresh, either completely ignorant, or with their […]

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2004-08-24 :: Greg Krehbiel // Fatherhood
Laziness and fatherhood don’t mix

You’ve just come home from a hard day. The commute was murder. You’re grumpy and hungry and you want to rest for a few minutes before dinner. But Junior has other plans. With a mischevious grin he decides to test the limits — again — and climb onto the piano bench. You tell him to […]

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2004-08-25 :: Greg Krehbiel // Fatherhood
Expect and require immediate obedience

A friend told me a story about a westerner who was visiting a friend in India. While they were chatting on the patio, the Indian man’s son was playing in the yard. Suddenly the Indian man turned to his son and said, “Son, be perfectly still.” To the westerner’s amazement, the child stopped. Then the […]

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2004-08-26 :: Greg Krehbiel // Fatherhood
Take the kids to worship

One of the sad undercurrents in our society is the notion that religion is for women. The sadder thing is that there’s a lot of truth in it. Many religions have been emasculated to keep them from offending the oh-so-sensitive. The whole thing is rather amazing when you think about it. Christianity is a blood […]

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2004-08-27 :: Greg Krehbiel // Fatherhood
Preparing way before adolescence

In a subsequent post I’ll talk about “preparing for adolescence,” Dr. Dobson’s tape series, but I want to start with the preparation that needs to occur way before adolescence. Following the theory that to be forewarned is to be forearmed — No … forget that. Let’s try a more down-to-earth, practical explanation. Remember when you […]

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2004-08-28 :: Greg Krehbiel // Fatherhood
Preparing for adolescence 1

Focus on the Family has a series of tapes by Dr. Dobson called “preparing for adolescence.” The idea behind the series is that dad takes his son out for a weekend trip (or mom takes her daughter, but remember that these are reflections on fatherhood, not parenting) — camping, skiing, fishing, whatever — and on […]

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2004-08-29 :: Greg Krehbiel // Fatherhood
Preparing for adolescence 2

In part 1 I began a review of the four lessons I teach my children as they enter adolescence. Part 2 continues with … The Lesson of the Klingon “Honor is more important than life.” While the general terms of this lesson apply to boys and girls, I’m going to focus my comments on boys […]

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2004-08-30 :: Greg Krehbiel // Fatherhood
Preparing for adolescence 3

This is a continuation of a series of lessons a father could teach his children to supplement Dr. Dobson’s “preparing for adolescence” tapes. Lesson 3 is … The Lesson of the Jedi “The apprentice always thinks he’s ready before the master does.” The teen years are a time of rapid preparation for adulthood. A time […]

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2004-08-31 :: Greg Krehbiel // Fatherhood
Preparing for adolescence 4

This is the last part of a series of supplements to Dr. Dobson’s “preparing for adolescence” tape series. The Lessons of the Bene Gesserit #1 — “Learn from previous generations.” I’ve often summarized human history as ten billion people walking down a path, falling into a ditch, then turning to the person following to warn […]

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2004-09-01 :: Greg Krehbiel // Fatherhood
Sunday morning drill sergeant

Earlier I mentioned the dad’s responsibility to take the kids to worship. Practically speaking, this may mean adopting some stereotypically un-masculine behaviors — like putting your daughter’s hair in braided pig tails. But this is just a matter of perspective and requires only a very minor mental adjustment. Sailors have to tie knots, and doing […]

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2004-09-02 :: Greg Krehbiel // Fatherhood
Dating

On Kissing Other Women I am a married man. It is therefore wrong for me to be kissing women other than my wife. Fortunately, we still have enough sense in this culture that I don’t need to spend too much time defending that notion. But if we spend some time examining it, we’ll learn some […]

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2004-09-03 :: Greg Krehbiel // Fatherhood
Spanking

Spanking has fallen on hard times among the cultural elite, who say that hitting a kid teaches the kid to hit, that it’s child abuse, and that it doesn’t really work anyway. To all of that I say “baloney.” First, spanking is not “hitting.” Some parents do hit their kids. They get angry about something […]

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2004-09-08 :: Greg Krehbiel // Fatherhood
Pregnancy

Continuing on with the series on fatherhood …. Pregnancy brings about a lot of changes in a home. Of course the wife bears the biggest load, but the husband has to learn how to support her during these changes. It’s harder than you think. The rule of thumb is simple: you are the bad guy. […]

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2004-09-09 :: Greg Krehbiel // Fatherhood
Tips for Expecting Dads

As I was writing stuff for my on-going fatherhood series, I remembered a document I wrote a while ago. Here it is. *** Tips for Expecting Fathers Before Baby * Take the Lamaze (or similar) classes. – Yes, it’s silly. Yes, it’s designed to make you feel uncomfortable and inferior. Be a man and live […]

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2004-09-10 :: Greg Krehbiel // Fatherhood + General
Men and religion

I’ve always found this fascininating. A child’s future attendance at church is very strongly associated with the father’s observance. See The Truth About Men & Church

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2004-10-12 :: Greg Krehbiel // Fatherhood
There isn’t always a reason

One of the difficult things about being a father is the desire to seem reasonable. While we don’t want our children asking “Why?” all the time, we like to have reasons so that we don’t seem arbitrary and capricious. In fact, many parents retreat from their instincts if they can’t give a good reason. This […]

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