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Giving up on being a “Good Catholic”

by Greg Krehbiel on 21 May 2006

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a “good Catholic” or a “good Christian,” and the more I think about it the more I realize that I’m not either. And I’m not that worried about it.
It often seems that being a “good Christian” means toeing the party line and being overly busy with all the right sorts of activities. For example, recalling my days as an Evangelical, it seemed that being a “good Evangelical” meant, primarily, having the Evangelical attitude on issues and being involved in evangelism — or at least going to a lot of Bible studies.

When I was a hard-headed Presbyterian, being a “good Christian” seemed like an intellectual thing. It was a matter of obsessing over the right issues and being able to “touch the matter with a needle,” as Jeeves would say. (Although he’d say it in Latin.)

In some circles, a “good Christian” can speak or pray well in public (maybe in tongues), and is involved in a lot of activity — going to this, that and the other church-related event and being on lots of committees. A really good Christian is a man who’s so involved in “Christian activities” that he hardly has time to play catch with his kids.
When I first became Catholic it seemed that being a “good Catholic” was largely an intellectual exercise. It was a matter of submitting to the right doctrines and, for heaven’s sake, avoiding the “Catholic cafeteria” mentality. But it also meant (to others, never to me) adopting certain “cultural Catholic” attitudes and devotions — esp. about the rosary.
It’s funny that confessors usually don’t care too much about any of these things. In fact, I’ve never heard a priest mention half the things that “good Catholics” seem to be all tied up about.

You’d expect a “good Catholic” to go to confession frequently. But if he’s good, why does he need to confess?

A “good Catholic” is somebody who goes to mass regularly, where he’d say “I confess to Almighty God that I have sinned through my own fault,” and “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you,” and he’d hear, “Though we are sinners we trust in your mercy.”

In short, while there are lots of cultural attitudes about being a “good Catholic,” when it comes right down to it a “good Catholic” is good at only one thing — realizing that he isn’t good at all.

My trouble is that I’m not even very good at that.
A good Catholic ought to have a lot of faith — he ought to be assured of things hoped for and convinced of things he hasn’t seen. That sounds easy enough. You don’t have to be very smart to have faith, right? But it’s hard to decide to have assurance or choose to be convinced. We’re deceived so often, and surety can seem like an impossible goal. I find myself saying, “I believe. Help my unbelief.”

When I look at all this I’m left with very little. I’m not holy enough to see how unholy I really am, and I don’t believe half as well as I should. So to that inner voice of pride that wants to be able to say “I’m a good Catholic,” I can only reply, “No, I’m just a sinner.” And the good news is that Jesus Christ came to save sinners, so I qualify for the team.

2006-05-21  »  Greg Krehbiel