“Shave, tuck in your shirt and comb your hair!”
by Greg Krehbiel on 9 March 2013
There’s something really weird about being Facebook friends with kids — neighbor kids, friends of your kids, kids on sports teams, etc.
They sometimes post completely inappropriate things, and the correct adult response — in real life, anyway — would be something like the title of this post, or “don’t show your underwear in public,” or “it would be better not to say those sorts of things in mixed company,” etc.
In real life you could say it discreetly, in the right tone of voice, so only the right people hear, etc. Facebook is different and it wouldn’t be appropriate to say those sorts of things.
But think about what that creates: an environment that favors the foolish. It creates a situation where people can be dopes without fear of reprimand.
In fact, just generally speaking I get the impression that Facebook reinforces the wrong kind of socialization. It favors unthinking, juvenile responses and reactions.
You can message someone privately, but it doesn’t have the same effect.
Part of what kept me in line when I was a kid was the fact that parents, teachers, coaches and neighbors were watching me. That kind of “it takes a village” mentality is not only gone, it’s almost backwards now.
-- 2013-03-09 » Greg Krehbiel
9 March 2013 @ 10:19 am
I just don’t know if there’s much constructive value in being FB friends with teenagers who are going to act like this in the first place. They don’t want to hear anything you have to say that you uniquely bring to the table, so what’s the point? They probably wouldn’t be upset to have you defriend them since they probably know lots of adults who don’t bother to friend kids they know.
It gets harder when it’s nieces and nephews and the kids of close friends, but as far as “neighbor kids, friends of your kids, and kids on sports teams” I just wouldn’t bother. Then you don’t have the effect of reinforcement because you’re not there to provide tacit reinforcement.