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For my alma mater — why porn matters

by Greg Krehbiel on 6 April 2009

Since students at the University of Maryland are going to be showing a porn film on campus, I thought I’d review why pornography is bad for people.

It’s Addictive

* You want more and more, which
– makes you less able to be aroused by normal sexuality
– makes you less satisfied with a normal sex life
* As with other addictions, it can take over your life — you learn to lie and cheat to cover it up
– Which leads to other kinds of unfaithfulness

It Creates False Expectations

* The vast majority of women don’t look like the gals in porn
* Women don’t enjoy doing the kind of stuff porn actresses and models do
* Men who are into porn expect their wives to do that stuff, and it creates lots of friction
* Your wife feels as if she’s competing with an impossible fantasy

It Supports Crime and Spreads Disease

* People in the porn industry often lure women into the country
illegally and then treat them as sex slaves for porn and/or
prostitution
* People in the porn industry are susceptible to and spread STDs

It Warps the Way You View Women
* It turns them into objects
* Women in porn have had operations – they’re not natural
* Images are air-brushed — it’s not real.

It Hurts Women
* The porn industry is brutal to women
* Some few claim to enjoy the work, but most are disgusted by it.
* A sex-saturated culture inherently hurts women
– Generally speaking, women use sex to get love
– If you flood the market with sex, sex becomes a less valuable commodity so women have less bargaining power

Porn Warps the Way You View Sex
* Puts sex outside the context of marriage
* It’s all about your pleasure
* It’s not about intimacy or family
* It breeds a desire for the new and novel rather than building a lasting, loving relationship with one person

Porn warps your relationships with other people
* Your current or future wife
* Your parents
* Your friends
* Porn makes you evaluate women based on all the wrong criteria

Porn makes you feel disgusting and dirty
* Your conscience tells you it’s wrong

It Destroys Intimacy
* Intimacy has a physical component, e.g., standing close together, being physically vulnerable, etc. Porn creates false intimacy and destroys the capacity for intimacy
* Nakedness is intrinsically tied to intimacy, so overexposure to
nakedness numbs you to genuine intimacy.
* If you’re into porn, your wife is wondering what you’re thinking –-
you’re not making love to her
* When you view porn you’ve shared a deeply personal and intimate part of your life with an image, a stranger, a fantasy
* Sex should be in private (think of the DiGiorno’s pizza ad)

Possible chemical addiction
* Porn causes your brain to release chemicals similar to cocaine.

-- 2009-04-06  »  Greg Krehbiel

Talkback x 7

  1. Pigweed Pigweed
    7 April 2009 @ 10:21 am

    While I don’t disagree with any individual point, I think you have taken the slippery slope all the way to the bottom. You have lumped together the occasional pot smoker with the heroin addict who has lost everything that once mattered to him. It’s a line you’d be better off not crossing but it isn’t necessarily the fast track to hell.
    My concern is the mainstream nature of porn these days. Pre-internet, It was seedy and edgy and awkward to obtain (trust me). Now its casually emailed, shared and talked about in (nearly) polite company. Here’s my prediction – in the next few seasons there will be a principle sitcom character who plays an ex-porn actress. Think of the madcap humor LA writers could come with.
    Leave porn in the creepy building out by the airport not in a strip mall (no pun) or on campus.
    BTW, how exactly is table dancing protected by the 1st Amendment?

  2. Greg Krehbiel Greg Krehbiel
    7 April 2009 @ 10:40 am

    Porn is addictive, but that’s not the only, or even the main argument against it. People can use addictive things without getting addicted or ruining their lives.

    I’m against porn because I’m in favor of a healthy sex life. I think porn does nothing but harm a person’s attitude towards women and towards sex.

    Your prediction may be right.

    I remember when tampon commercials were new and somewhat scandalous. Now we have commercials for levitra and “extenze.” It can’t be too long before they’re promoting condoms and sex toys on TV.

    BTW, I’m not criticizing the products, I’m only saying that they shouldn’t be on TV. Unlike some other primates, humans mate in private and we like to keep that sort of stuff out of the public square.

  3. jordan JH
    7 April 2009 @ 11:03 am

    There are a lot of condom ads on TV, but it might be cable only. Can’t say I’ve checked.

  4. Pigweed Pigweed
    8 April 2009 @ 10:11 am

    You mention that we (not you and I) mate in private. I like that. I also like clothes on people. What is the appeal of nudism? Most nudity is not pleasant to look at. And if you do see a woman that looks great naked, I’m sure that nudism etiquette is not to get aroused. It’s all normal and natural. When beautiful naked boobs stop being arousing I want out.
    And why are there lots of nudist campgrounds? Is there a worse place in the world to be naked that sitting on a splintered picnic table in the woods?

  5. Greg Krehbiel Greg Krehbiel
    8 April 2009 @ 10:23 am

    I don’t understand nudist stuff at all. I don’t want to sit on a chair that somebody else’s bare butt has been on.

  6. jew Jack
    8 April 2009 @ 3:32 pm

    Good points, Greg, but they were predominantly from a male point of view. Admittedly, more males are into porn than females. But I hear that is changing. Witness the new erotica produced by and for women — or at least from the female point of view. I wonder if porn has the same effects on women as in men.

  7. Greg Krehbiel Greg Krehbiel
    8 April 2009 @ 3:50 pm

    “Porn for women” has been around for a long time. It’s called “romance novels.” :-)

    But seriously, I’ve heard that you’re right. It seems that men are naturally more stimulated by visual things. It’s possible they’re simply trained to be that way, but I doubt it.

    It’s also possible that women are being trained to be more visually stimulated.

    Despite what we read in our emails, when women are asked what’s most important to them in men, good looks and organ size and so on rank fairly low.

    But you can’t sell a pill that’s going to make men sensitive and kind, so perhaps it’s those evil capitalists at it again. They want to train women to be visually stimulated so they can sell more Chipendale posters and so on.